A blog by spenibus

The following is a ridiculous, Christmas themed parody of "[The Dark Knight Rises][1]". --- Bane's Christmas ================ Santa's workshop ---------------- <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tzK97Aaj_U8?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> **Bane** > Behind you stands a symbol of oppression, Santa's workshop, where a thousand elves have slaved away, under the name of this man, Santa Claus, who has been held up to you as the shining example of the spirit of Christmas. > You've been supplied with a false idol, to stop you tearing down this corrupt festivity. Let me tell you the truth about Santa Claus, from the words of his red-nosed reindeer, Rudolph. > The Krampus didn't punish the kids, he gave them gifts. Then took the blame for Santa's cruelty so I could, to my shame, build a lie around this jolly idol. I praised a mad man who tried to whip children but I can no longer live with my lie, it is time to trust the people with the truth and it is time for me to resign. > And do you accept this reindeer's resignation ? And do you accept the resignation of all these liars, of all the corrupt ? **Blake** > Those elves working all year in Santa's workshop, denied even a moment's rest under the spirit of Christmas... based on a lie. **Rudolph** > The gifts needed to be wrapped. **Blake** > They need it now more than ever. You betrayed everything you stood for. **Rudolph** > There is a point, far out there, when the celebrations fail you and the gifts are not rewards anymore, but they're taken for granted, letting naughty children go unpunished. One day, you may face such a moment of crisis and in that moment, I hope you will have a friend like I did, to give away the coal, so your gifts remain precious. **Blake** > Your gifts look plenty cheap to me, reindeer. **Bane** > We take Christmas from the corrupt, the naughty, the oppressors of celebrations who have kept you down with myths of good behaviour and we give it back to you, the people. Christmas is yours, none shall interfere, do as you please. But start by storming Santa's workshop and free the oppressed. > Step forward, those who would bring gifts. > Mistletoe will be hung. > Fir trees will be ripped from their lush forests, and decorated with the garlands that we love and enjoy. > Christmas markets will be convened. > Gifts will be exchanged. > Mulled wine will be served. > The reindeers will survive, whilst they learn to serve the true spirit of Christmas. > This great holiday, it will endure. Christmas will survive. [1]: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1345836/reference